Adoption Musings are old blog posts journaling our Ugandan adoption.
Friends were gracious and generous to celebrate Jericho joining our family by throwing an adoption shower. It was a memorable afternoon connecting with friends about why we chose to adopt, sharing parenting stories, and of course showering Derek and I with all kinds of kiddie goodies!
My friend Jessica, one of the strongest women I know, opened in prayer, giving our time to honor Christ and celebrate baby Jericho. She did this but not before inviting everyone into the story of our adoption. It was awesome, pure awesome. The afternoon was full of delicious refreshments, a photo booth, candy bar, mommy panel, devotion, and blessing.
We had a mommy panel of women I adore and it was such a precious gift! The starting line up was:
Anne, wise businesswoman and mother of two.
Vicki, long time mentor and mother of four.
Michelle, my boss and mother of three.
Cindy, soul sister and mother of two.
The advice and wisdom of the panel was so valuable. I loved every minute and it provided some fun laughs!
Notes I jotted down from their advice are as follows:
Anne- REST especially since you are an “activator”. Get your home team and give yourself a break! Be their coach and react in a way that you can facilitate life with them. Let them grow up with you and without you. If you raise them to be perfect they won’t know how to live in an imperfect world. Speak the best season of their lives and yours into existence. It gets better and better if you let it.
Vicki- Let your children see your relationship with Christ and ensure you are continuing to grow. Let them see you and Derek are imperfect, be a united front, but let them see your humanity and apologize to them. Find things that are just for you and do it. Ensure Derek pursues you. Addressing Derek: the best way to serve your children is love their mother.
Michelle- Let them have a relationship with their dad without you. They’ll be better because of it. Find something that you love and make sure you have time to do it. Have couch time with you and Derek that you can do everyday. It’s time you can look forward to, a time to chat about life, dreams, and of course children. Be honest, they are WATCHING EVERYTHING.
Cindy- Love them first. Read your Word of you will MURDER. Make sure Derek and you DO have time just the two of you. If their not killing themselves, anyone else, or burning the house down let them do whatever. Let them have their fun.
My friend Lisa, who is my own personal Beth Moore, gave a devotional that was straight from heaven. She talked about David fighting differently in seasons of life. Her words were so encouraging. She walked through David defeating Goliath, David encouraging himself in the Lord when his own men wanted to kill him, and even in his darkest moments he was a man after God’s own heart. The words she spoke that I’ve held dear to my heart are, “you will succeed in the rescue.” Those words were spoken over King David and I receive them as well. Adoption is the most emotionally draining calling I’ve found so far, yet I’m encouraged that I will succeed in the rescue. She ended with telling about the Israelites’ battle for Jericho. When they took the walled city the warriors went first with swords drawn, the priests went second with praises lifted high to the King, and the ark of the covenant went last. She instructed me that your children will go before you and fight, you will pray with the priesthood, and the presence of the Lord will be there for it all. At the climax of her message she pulled a sword from its sheath and asked us to hold it, believing for the promise of our son, and everyone laid hands on us and together we prayed. It was a moment I will never forget.
To wrap it up, my friend, Laura, read one of my blogs about adoption before we closed in prayer.
“Adoption is not easy, and children are indeed needy. It’s important to realize, then, that we adopt not because we are rescuers. No, we adopt because we are the rescued. And in this way, the gospel uniquely portrays, compels, and ultimately sustains adoption.
We have a tendency in our day to romanticize adoption, envisioning cute children around the world just waiting to be adopted. Obviously, they are all cute in their own ways, but they are also needy…and many of their needs are great and it will take work to see progress, yet it will always be worth it. Our only sustainable motivation is the glorious reality of the gospel. We who were children of wrath become children of God! All of this, Galatians 4 says, because Jesus came at the right time, with perfect qualifications, and with sacrificial resolve to give His very life for our adoption.
Regardless of how this looks in each of our lives, as a people captivated by the love of the Father in heaven, we are compelled to show His love to the fatherless on earth. May God give each of us as families and all of us as His family grace to look after the orphan.
Jen Hatmaker says, and the Bluhm’s echo, “As for me, I will shamelessly adore Jesus for being a champion of the underdog, a defender of justice, and the Savior of the world. Thank you Jesus for bringing beauty from ashes and redefining “family” from a straightforward matter of biology to one bound together by faith, love, salvation, and adoption. You are good, and your mercy is forever.”
I followed a God into this story who heals and redeems, who restores wasted years and mends broken places. This God specializes in the Destroyed. I’ve seen it. I’ve been a part of it. I have His ancient Word that tells of it. I love a Jesus who made reconciliation his whole mission. My child will not remain broken. He is loved by too good a Savior. I will not face defeat. I am loved by too merciful a Father. We will live and bear witness to the redemptive plan for the glory of God.”
