Many moons ago as a baby-faced newlywed, I stood over the worn stove in the tiniest kitchen of our five-hundred-square foot apartment and chipped off burnt mashed potatoes from the bottom of our shiny new pots. Unbeknownst to me, at the very same time I allowed thick, chunky steaks to overcook in the oven. I was a culinary arsonist who wondered if she would ever be good at all things domestic and be able to hustle hard at my job too. I subconsciously thought I had to choose: become a domestic goddess or a boss. Little did I know, at the ripe age of twenty-two, that my internal struggle was the struggle of women across the world since the beginning of time.
In 1960, Betty Friedman, a woman who was honest with herself and the world, penned an article in Good Housekeepingthat shook many American women of the sixties. Let’s be honest, it’s still shaking some women today. The article, “Women Are People, Too!”was the beginning, some say, of modern feminism. While that may be debatable and there is much controversy surrounding the term itself, I appreciate her gusto and passion in advocating for a broadern vision of women’s roles and opportunities.
Betty felt that women often struggled in silence with what to do with their lives. They loved their families and served their children, but some were left asking, “Is this all there is?” She believed society informed women most often about things such as “how to catch a man and keep him; how to breast-feed children and handle toilet training, sibling rivalry, adolescent rebellion; how to buy a dishwasher, cook Grandmother’s bread and gourmet snails, build a swimming pool with our own hands; how to dress, look, and act more feminine, and make marriage more exciting; how to keep our husbands from dying young and our sons from growing into delinquents.”1
Betty was discouraged with the way that society generally led women to live their lives. Girls usually were not encouraged to set their sights beyond anything but being a good wife and mother. Now, I’m forbeing a wife and mother! I’m one myself, and I love my husband and children dearly. I applaud the encouragement we find in Proverbs 31 to be a wife of noble character and a nurturing mother. But I know that each and every one of us was built for a rewarding home life anda rewarding work life—whatever that might look like. We don’t have to choose. It isn’t one over the other. We can find harmony in both. But it’s important to understand what I mean by the word work. I’m not talking about work in the traditional 9:00 am to 5:00 pm sense. I mean dreams of laboring over your passion— what sparks joy within you. It could be something you do for an hour a week or forty hours a week.
Excerpted from the book She Dreams: Live the Life You Were Created For, Tiffany Bluhm, Ó 2019 by Abingdon Press. All rights reserved. Available for pre-order.
