Today is my birthday and it’s the last day I’ll celebrate a birthday in my twenties. That gets me excited and nervous all at the same time. I love birthdays, whether its mine, my kids, or friends. Birthdays are a chance to stop and take stock of what you’ve been through, what you’ve learned, and what you are believing for. I love it. As an adoptee, birthdays are a big deal. When details are fuzzy surrounding your birth you hold onto birthdays because they make you feel normal, they make you feel like you weren’t a mistake, like you were always part of someone’s plan regardless of how things shook down.

Every year on my birthday I share what Jesus has done with close friends and this year I want to share with you, dear reader.

Rather than having a long list of things I want to accomplish in a year I simply have a word and a scripture that I speak into my year. My word for the year was “trailblazer” and sweet bippy I had no idea how true that would be. After the birth of sweet baby Kingston last October I felt led to resign from full time pastoral ministry. I would have never guessed that would be so heavy on my heart, but I couldn’t deny it was my next step. A new season was on the horizon waiting for me, beckoning me forward asking me to sharpen other skills entrusted to me and use gifts that had been in winter. Trusting the Lord has tested every doubt, every fear, every assumption. I know he is sovereign, so good a Father, and he is near to my husband and I. Blazing a new trail in the adventure of our family has demanded trust and change. My husband resigned from his job as well to pursue a position that would cover what we both earned previously together. It’s led us to a place of dependence on Jesus, trusting that he takes us from strength to strength.

My scripture for the year was Psalm 16:11, “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” We each are led on different paths and I sensed this year would be different. Our paths aren’t laced with ease but rather battles to be fought and victories to be had. We must choose them, claim them, and fight for them. Life is bittersweet, we have to go at this with grace, grit, and virtue. I’ve learned a new kind of bravery. I’ve found joy in hard places when I’ve found his presence; a presence that holds me, uplifts me, and puts my feet on solid ground. I’ve found a joy that speaks to me of strength, of what righteousness looks like for me personally. It’s been a joy that looks and tastes different than before. It’s beautiful.

This past year he’s given me eyes for a new dawn in the life of my dreams. Loving and encouraging women, especially mamas, has been my heart and has turned into the opportunity to reach women from all walks of life whether it be donating breast milk, walking alongside a friend coming out of domestic violence, praying my face off for a friend going through a divorce, planning baby showers for teen moms, organizing an adoption fundraiser for a friend who’s baby waits in Tanzania, or leading women’s bible study. This is my season. I choose to love it. I’m madly in love with Jesus, he’s changed everything. He’s taken my broken pieces and made me whole. I am alive. As I love him he’s leading me to a place where my passions dance with the burdens of our world. May it never stop. The eternal pleasures are not just for later, they are for here and now, they look like grace, intimacy, revival of the heart, and truth that brings freedom to the soul.

Dear 28, we were brave. We trail blazed the heck out of that 12 months. Thank you for a year of great bravery and deep joy. 

To 29, let’s flourish. Let’s dance through this year with those we love and extend a hand to those in need. Let’s love deeper, celebrate more, and savor longer. We can. We will. Let’s spend our life on the gospel, on people, and fiercely lead from a revival of the soul, and may it encourage all on our path.