In my own life, I have grappled for the truth but unintentionally settled for a lie and shame. I struggled to believe I was lovable in my most vulnerable moment: infancy. If I wasn’t worthy of keeping, surely I wasn’t worthy of loving. This lie of my life kept me from the truth of God’s Word—the Word that declares I’m loved beyond measure; the Word that declares God sent His only Son to love me and redeem me from my sin and shame.
Freedom-giving truth is found only in the unconditional love of Jesus. Shame binds. The truth sets free. Shame isolates. Love comforts. It was the truth of Jesus’ love that set the woman accused of adultery free. When He told her, “I don’t condemn you, go and sin no more” (John 8:11), it was from a position of love that He spoke and acted with grace, respect, and compassion. Her freedom was found in the truth of His love.
Shame has no trace of love. It is completely void of hope and the promise of vulnerability. With its isolating effects, shame cuts us off from Jesus and others we trust in our lives. The shame heaped on the adulterous woman by her accusers was devoid of all love. It lacked any hope for redemption. In one way or another, we all have fallen prey to shame-induced thoughts that come from our own hearts or from others, seeking to disqualify us from wholeness and grace.
I was adopted at the age of 17 months. Growing up, I felt shameful of my birth story, and that shame influenced both my thoughts and actions. Gaping holes in my story left me questioning if I was worthy of love. My biological father and mother were absent from the beginning, and I spent years of my life wondering if I deserved abandonment. “Earworms of shame” spoke lies that cemented my beliefs about myself—lies such as “once an orphan, always an orphan.” It seemed as though others around me were wanted and desired from the moment they took their first breath while I was a mistake, an accident. Others had baby pictures and baby books. I had neither. I thought that I was unwanted and unlovable. I didn’t yet understand that Christ had already decided I was lovable. The verdict wasn’t up to any other soul on earth—only Jesus.
Excerpted from the six-week Bible study Never Alone: 6 Encounters with Jesus to Heal Your Deepest Hurts, Tiffany Bluhm, Ó 2018 by Abingdon Press. All rights reserved.