Derek and I recently celebrated nine years of marriage on a rooftop in Seattle at 3 PM in the afternoon. When you have two kids you’ll take the 3 PM date because you might not stay awake for 8 PM dinner reservations let alone engage in meaningful conversation. At 3 PM, however, you can do it. You can talk about God’s faithfulness in the past year, the ups, the downs, and eat prawn cocktail like it’s your last meal.
With the man who once had a mullet because he thought it looked “cool,” I’ve shared nine years of my life and data plan. That’s nine years of take-out. Nine years of The Office reruns. Nine years of taking the last bite of dessert because I’m a queen. (I’m ruthless, guys.) It’s also been nine years of fighting our battles side by side. Nine years of choosing each other. Nine years of laughter. Nine years of love.
On my wedding day, my husband quoted Romans 8:31-39 to me in front of hundreds of guests. It was a reminder that my love was not enough. His love was not enough. Christ was and will always be enough for our hearts. For our wounds. For our mistakes. Every ounce of love for each other and others flows from that. He is the abundant giver and originator of love. The love that heals betrayal. The love that satisfies our need for control. The love that redeems our suspicious minds. The love that frees us from shame and doubt. A love that is fierce. A love that is strong. We will have the ability to receive love because we know Christ loved us first.
A love that is life-giving. Never life-stealing.
Romans 8:31-39 says,
What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.” No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NLT)
Out of the love of Christ, we find true love. Not a counterfeit version but the honest to goodness authentic love of God. As we pursue the heart of Jesus and abide in Him we find true love doesn’t reciprocate hate but offers grace. True love gives and does not necessarily expect anything in return. True love leans into pain rather than shrinks back from it. It embraces the dark to search out the gift hidden within it. True love offers hope and power. True love is not scarce but abundant. True love stands with bravery and courage. It locks arms with forgiveness to unleash its healing goodness. It makes room for others and believes for redemption while claiming its own. True love is companionship with Jesus that gives us the grace to find freedom from every betrayal.
As my dear friend, Jana, says, “Love is oxygen and yet can leave you breathless. Love is a radical with-ness. When all was lost, we were never really alone or forgotten after all. There was Someone who was not just behind the scenes and waiting in the wings but was interacting, bravely and tenderly intervening, although hidden all along. This Someone had our good in mind and really knew the center of us: belovedness.”
May the fierce love of Jesus drive you. Not your bad mood. Not your frustration. Not your disappointment. Love. True glorious love. A love that conquers fear. A love that endures. A love that has overcome. May love be your reaction and response despite what’s been thrown your way. Love is far more powerful that we can even dream.
Excerpted from the book Never Alone: 6 Exchanging Your Tender Hurts For God’s Healing Grace Tiffany Bluhm, Ó 2018 by Abingdon Press. All rights reserved.