Many ask me where to start if they are interested in adoption. As an adult adoptee and an adoptive mother, I’m not stranger to the journey of adoption. I’ll start by saying there are a million ways to answer, but I’ve listed out basic steps that will help get you started. The list assumes you’ve already searched your heart to know why you want to adopt, and that you feel you and your family are ready to invite a brother(s) or sister(s) to the family. These are extremely basic starting points but hopefully they will get you thinking about where you’ll adopt from.
Photo by Ivy and Tweed
Research where you want to adopt from.
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- Do you want to adopt from the within the U.S. or abroad? This is a big question and one that takes research and soul searching. It is a completely different process adopting internationally rather than domestically. Research states and countries, utilize the State Department’s website to find out specifics about various countries if you choose to pursue adoption outside the United States.
Decide who you are going to adopt from.
- Finding an agency, a reputable agency, is not the easiest job, but it will be worth your time to find out as much as you can about the agencies that work in the countries, even in the US, that you want to adopt from. Learn about the ethos, cost, time line, and travel requirements involved with each agency and country.
- If you are looking into foster-to-adopt or adopting from the state, contact your local child welfare office or research programs like Olive Crest (non-profits who facilitate in-state adoptions).
Pursue a Home Study
- Sometimes, home studies are provided through a chosen agency and other times they are not. A home study, an in-depth study of your home, history, parenting beliefs, and everything else about your entire life, is necessary to adopt either domestically or internationally. Home studies can take a month to five months to complete. The sooner you can get started on your home study the better. Once you’ve chosen who you are going to adopt from, they will walk you through the steps that pertain to the country or system you chose.
Stay Connected
- Adoption forums and facebook groups are a great resource and can really help you get the inside scoop to know more about what you will be going through as an adoptive parent. With that said, not all forums and groups are created equally so be mindful of what you share. Another great option is to consider the Refresh Conference, an annual conference that serves foster and adoptive parents.
Consider Fundraising
- The cost of adoption varies agency to agency, however there are usually significant costs related to adoption regardless if it’s a domestic or international adoption. Consider fundraisers to help cover the costs. Popular fundraisers include: custom t-shirts, an Adopt Together account, hosted dinner, and honestly, anything you can possibly think of. For example, a dear friend of mine owned a small spa at the time and donated all proceeds from a busy Saturday at her spa. You would be surprised at what friends would be willing to donate towards your family.
Adoption has been the hardest yet sweetest process, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. You’ll find just how strong, tenacious, patient, and brave you are in the adoption journey.
