You have late nights. Early mornings. You are exhausted. You wish things were easier than they are but it’s not happening. You can’t, for the life of you, see the light at the end of the tunnel. You just want a break. Or a muffin. Or seven. You wonder if things will ever be easier. You wonder if working this hard at life will ever pay off. You try to convince yourself it shouldn’t be this hard. Life really shouldn’t be this hard, right? Dating shouldn’t be this hard. Marriage shouldn’t be this hard. Raising kids shouldn’t be this hard. Going back to school shouldn’t be this hard. Working two jobs to make ends meet shouldn’t be this hard. Paying your bills on time shouldn’t be this hard. Rallying others for a cause that matters shouldn’t be this hard. Working tirelessly to see your dreams come true shouldn’t be this hard.
Even worse, you observe the women around you and it appears that everything is perfect in their tailor-made lives. They aren’t struggling like you are. Are they? They seem to move through life with ease while you fall into bed every night emotionally spent. You wonder why life can be so impossibly hard for you when it appears so easy for others, but sister, let me tell you, just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
The decisions we make and the lives we live bring along with them a fair amount of discomfort but it doesn’t mean it was a bad decision. It doesn’t make it wrong. It doesn’t mean you are doomed for a life of struggle. In fact, it is the women in history who leaned into the hard seasons without any idea of when things would let up who reaped a harvest. They dreamed of a life that demanded hard days, months, and years, but they knew it was worth it. They silenced their hunger for convenience and gave in to responsibilities that stretched them to be women of grit and courage.
When things are hard, we wonder if they are wrong. Our conscious, rational mind must go to work against our commitment to comfort so we can forge ahead because the truth is: relationships are stressful, raising humans is an incredibly difficult responsibility, going back to school is mentally draining, and working away at a job or task that makes you want to stab your eyes with a fork until the end of time (but you know it’s a necessary part of the plan) is soul sucking, but it is worth it. It’s a shift in thinking to believe that hard things, hard tasks, or hard responsibilities aren’t wrong. They invite the best of who we are and demand a resolve that isn’t accessed by ease.
We can’t deny the emotional, mental, and physical toll taken from us when things are hard. It’s a lot. In an age where we worship convenience and relative comfort, we scoff at the idea that what we want most, what our heart dreams of, will cost us something. It will cost us our comfort, but when we are willing to sacrifice our comfort for well-earned hard days, we can rest in the knowledge that what we are chasing is worth the grind. In fact, if something is hard it may be an indicator that you are doing it right and notwrong. When we find ourselves in the middle of hard seasons, remember: the life you were created for isn’t one of ease or convenience, but courage.
Courage is what enabled Clara Barton to organize the Red Cross and serve the hurting. Courage is what enabled Mother Teresa to gather Kolkata’s motherless children. Courage is what enabled Sojourner Truth to advocate for the rights of women.
Courage, dear heart, is what gives us a vision for days ahead in the midst of hard seasons.
You have battles to fight, dragons to slay, dreams to chase, and I can guarantee you, it will be hard, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
This post was inspired by my latest book and study, She Dreams. Grab your copy of the book and study wherever you buy books.