So many of us are just trying to get through the day. We raise kids, love husbands, take care of homes, or perhaps you are doing it all on your own. It can be so easy to look around and think, “this is too much, this is too hard, its 24/7 and NEVER ending.” I feel you, sister. This is hard. I remind myself often that following the path you know you’ve been called to doesn’t necessarily mean its easy or won’t drain the color out of your face. Life is hard. Getting through your kid’s meltdowns are hard, trying to reason with your children is hard. It’s all hard. Hard, hard, hard. I truly am surprised at just how hard it really is sometimes.
I remember sitting with Jericho in Uganda and wiping away tears from his face and mine as he would wail for hours on end. I felt like I was losing my mind and I couldn’t handle it. I had taken on to much and felt like I didn’t know what to do. It was exhausting for my heart, mind, and soul. It seemed like there was no end in sight for his rage, and no ounce of joy in the moment. Although minutes felt like months they weren’t. They were just minutes. It took quite awhile to get to a place where we could get through the day without screaming, rage manifesting, or debilitating fear that would wear down our hearts. The most common answer for mamas in times of chaos is, “give yourself grace.” Let me tell you, I was giving myself grace, but I was going to need something stronger than that! I needed to remember that the season wasn’t going to last forever, and my children are living, breathing, thinking for themselves human beings, and that invites testing, questioning, and a crap ton of patience.
Also I am convinced more than ever that MAMA NEEDS A MINUTE. Whatever it takes I believe it is vital to get a minute to breathe, to check your heart for bumps and bruises, and refresh your spirit. We have limits and we need to recharge so we don’t unintentionally exceed those limits and shut down. For me, it’s sitting at my kitchen table staring out the window when the kids are sleeping and simply sitting in silence, or sipping a coffee alone, all alone. I’ve never enjoyed time alone like I do now. I am in this for the long haul and I get one go at raising kids. I want to learn the unforced rhythms of grace and peace. They are for me, they will soothe my aches and pains, and put me back on track. I don’t know how to do this any other way except with a desperate heart. I mean that, I have more clarity in my life when I’m desperate in prayer, desperate for joy, peace, and patience. It works for me. It’s not very pretty but it works. It gets me through the long days and everyone is alive at the end. That part is particularly important.
If you have a spouse who can take the kids while you take a walk by yourself with coffee in hand DO IT. If you are a single mama who needs a break I encourage you to call on your tribe. I sometimes cower at asking for help but we need each other. It takes a village.
I want to know what fuels your tank when you are feeling a tad hopeless or overwhelmed. Your practices may inspire another woman who needs a fresh wind in her sails.
Also, if you see a mama who is about to break HELP her. Please, please, please help a sister out. I am domestically challenged and not super interested in babysitting other people’s kids but if I know I can bless a mama I’ll figure it out! We can do this, we can love each other, not compare our season or struggles, but simply love. I can, you can, we can.
