In the spring of 2013 I met my son’s mom. It was so good and hard, and sobering. I love that I can honestly say to him one day how bright and beautiful she was. How her eyes sparkled like his and that she stood only 4’10 so to blame his height challenge on her. She was stressed and quiet but told me, through a translator, how beautiful I was. She gave full consent right in front of us in our lawyer’s office, only after being asked one last time if she wants Jericho back. I could feel my heart beat in my hands as she gave her verbal and written wishes. She gave up her rights and still has time to change her mind before we go to court. We rode in the car with her and although she hasn’t seen Jericho since last July they connected. He was fascinated with her, like he remembered her from a dream. She tried her best to engage him but he wasn’t very interested. The tension was almost too much to take as she had to eat every one of those heart-wrenching moments that her son climbed into my lap and called me “mommy.”
The only moment where I had to really bite my tongue was when she laughed out loud while repeating our last name. It might as well have been Dingleberry. Ok, let’s not kid ourselves, she more than laughed, she howled with mockery over my name, my adorable, bright, and happy last name that puts a smile on your face every time you say it. A small price to pay for a woman who will soon sit in a court room and testify to a judge that although she is the mother of this child she will give up birthday parties, Christmas morning, swimming lessons, first crushes, teaching him to drive, family vacation, high school graduation, decorating a dorm room, walking the aisle as mother of the groom, and grandbabies. I respect this young woman. I respect her choice. I wish I could let her in her language that I will do my very best to shepherd a strong man who will know of her selfless decision and be honored throughout his life. In the moments he feels abandoned or alone I will point him to Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer, retelling the story thousands of times how Jesus has saved us all, and allowed two simple women to play roles in his story.