My baby is a year old. I can’t believe it. His toothy smile and high pitched giggle makes my heart melt. It’s been a year of diaper changes, middle of the night feedings, chewing on board books, and sweet snuggles. My heart overflows with joy at the mere thought of him.
He’s so proud when he gets his leg on top of the high chair. “Well done, son, well done.”
Yesterday, October 27th was his first birthday. We nibbled on gorgonzola stuffed dates, indulged in honey balsamic pork roast and chocolate ganache cake all in the name of celebration, gratitude, and love. It was sacred and ordinary all at the same time. It held so much weight, as any one year old’s birthday does, the weight of a promise that lifted my soul as I couldn’t help but think of how the Lord gives and takes away, and often gives again. He allows us to reclaim what has been lost and to experience the treasures that are unique, just for each of us. Two year ago I lost a one year old. Derek and I lost an adoption after our baby had been with us for three months. I can’t even begin to describe the grief that swallowed us up. We were plagued with sharp pains that wouldn’t go away for months after. It broke us. Our hearts were shattered. I remember telling Derek, “I wonder how long before we have a one year old again?” Then last night came and it was a moment to stop and thank Jesus for his kindness, his compassion, and his promises.
I love birthdays. They give us a time to stop, like the Israelites we read of in scripture, build a small altar of gratitude, and then carry on. That’s what last night was. It was beautiful. A time to celebrate and speak life into our son, our promise, who will one day be a man for truth and justice, mercy and grace. I was reminded of 1 Samuel 1:28 that reads, “As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” Hannah’s words echoed in my heart as she gave her vow over her son, Samuel. In the same way Derek and I choose to stand strong with the understanding he exists to be loved, love the King, and love others just as we are.
The days are long but the years are most certainly fast. Let the long days find me for in them I will savor the gift of the moment.