I recently read somewhere that in the days of little ones at home you have to give yourself grace, and there is no question that the grace tank needs a top up more often than not. Grace for myself, my kids, my friends, the stranger at the grocery store, everyone needs an extra dose.
Today was one of those days. Jericho has had a fever that has lasted for nearly five days. He wasn’t showing any signs of ear ache or a sinus infection, but yesterday it hit. The nose hasn’t stopped running and the ears haven’t stopped aching. All the while the baby is not doing so swell either and my sore throat has left me voice hoarse and achey. So here we are drinking vinegar, wiping noses, popping vitamin C, sipping tea, and waiting out the sickness that seems to easily find the homes of little ones.
A little peek into my sick kid arsenal.
While getting ready this morning I begged God to give me patience and grace for these two today. The combination of sick and whiny will wipe the smile off your face faster than you can imagine. Yet here I am, safely tucked in the arms of nap time and I had… a beautiful morning with my sick kids. Jericho decided he would be my super duper helper. He’s fetched diapers, loaded the washing machine, and cleaned up his toys. He’s listened to his favorite songs, made up new ones, and reenacted movie scenes. Kingston gnawed the head of a plush lion, babbled at his brother, and made every attempt to sit up on his own. There have been many sick days that have left me at my wits end but today has been delicious.
I know what changed. I decided to be brave. I decided to not lose my cool over the irrational behavior of a four year old. You know we’ve all done it. I decided to smile when I wanted to scream. I remembered that nap time is an oasis that I want to arrive at with my heart rate at a somewhat normal beats per second. Although sick days seem endless I’ve decided I can be brave at least for today. I have no promises for tomorrow but today, I can do today.
Grace for my children came out of my choice to brave. It came out of my choice to be the mother I know I can be and lavish grace over their little lives. I once heard that the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. That scared the crap out of me. I want him to walk in courage and humility, grace and kindness. Therefore, my talk should reflect that. As easy as that may sound when your child is whining for the 7 trillionth time about whatever it is they whine about… that seems somewhat out of reach. However, when I become the woman, the wife, and the mother that I aspire to be MY CHILDREN WIN. They will know grace when I’d rather eat their Easter candy and leave only the tootsie rolls instead of redirect with a kind voice. They will know kindness when I’d rather throw their toys in the garbage never to be seen again instead of sharing everything I own. They will know courage when they are scared of the dark and together we pray and fall fast asleep instead of letting them lie awake in fear. They will know humility when I choose to go low instead of retaliate, slander, or belittle. I get one whack at this raising kid thing, I will do my best to be brave.