STRONG ENOUGH TO BEAR CHILDREN
AND GET BACK TO BUSINESS

“Strong enough to bear the children and get back to business.”

Beyonce

I tear up at the idea of sacrificing some of my dreams simply because I am married or have children. Yet for years this was the dominant narrative that women were expected to believe and live out—and in some places still is. Even if there isn’t one soul teaching us this particular way of thinking, we sometimes can come to the conclusion on our own that if we want a family, then we must give up the parts of us that dream wild dreams and the wild adventures that stir our souls. Some women sacrifice dreams for other reasons, such as caring for aging parents or other family members or meeting some pressing need that cannot be ignored. While there are seasons of life that demand our complete time and energy on the home front, it is crazy to accept that we must forfeit rewarding work altogether because a specific season invites our all. The dreams that kept us up at night when we were young (I’m talking God-shaped dreams here, not schoolgirl dreams) just might be the same ones that keep us up today.

If we wonder whether we are allowed and privileged to have both a rewarding home life and rewarding work (passions we labor over), we need only search the Scriptures to find beautiful examples of women who had both. I double dog dare you to take a peek at Mary, the Mother of Jesus, and the revered Proverbs 31 woman as exhibits of women who slayed at this. Actually, the epilogue of Proverbs 31 is a poem or song of praise for all women, not a characterization of any one woman—with each verse beginning with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Even so, she represents the praiseworthy accomplishments of all women who are passionate and purposed. Both Mary and the Proverbs 31 woman affirm that we can have dreams of having a family or personal life and rewarding work (though I’m not advocating an “I can do everything” mentality). Rather, we learn from these women that we do not have to forfeit big dreams because we have a spouse or children or aging parents or others who may depend on us in some way. We can find fulfillment in nurturing others and laboring over other passions.

Excerpted from the book She Dreams: Live the Life You Were Created For, Tiffany Bluhm, Ó 2019 by Abingdon Press. All rights reserved.