Take It From the Girl Who Puked At Work

Take it from a girl who once hid in the bathroom and puked at work because of anxiety.

I get it. I do.

You have a plan, a rough estimation of how things will work out if you pursue your dreams, but you find yourself debilitated by fear. You just can’t start. You’ve placed your dreams on the top shelf, letting them collect dust, and you’ve continued to do what you’ve always done. I feel you; the familiar is comforting. But in your heart of hearts you were built to dream, to partner with God for His glory, to create, to design, to do things that take work and effort; and you most certainly have to start somewhere.

You can start, even when it feels like what you want is out of reach.

As you consider all God has called you to do, ask yourself, What if I don’t start? What if I don’t chase the dream that burns within my heart? What if I give up right out of the gate? What will my life look like? What will I miss out on? Can my heart afford to defer my dreams? Will I allow my fears to drive my actions or inactions? Do they dictate the inner-workings of my thoughts?

When we start pursuing the dreams in our hearts, we are often provided with ample opportunity to face our fears. When we start, with our limited knowledge but willing hearts, we are acutely aware of what we don’t know and what we don’t have. The fear of humiliation or of what we’ll lose is too much to take. We know others who’ve tried and failed, and we allow the hard moments in their journeys to impact ours in a way that was never meant to be. We convince ourselves that it would be irresponsible to pursue what beats loudly in our chests. In reality, we let our fears rule the roost. I am aware there are times when we should wait on pursuing our dreams and we’ll discuss that more later, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m referring to the times that the Lord said, “GO” and you and I said, “NO.”

When fear keeps us from starting, convincing us that it won’t work out or that we aren’t gifted or skilled enough to dream God-sized dreams, it’s helpful to play it out. What will it look like if our worst fears happen? What will it look if our best attempts fail miserably? Could it be that the Lord will be with us, guiding us through victory and defeat, through the ups and the downs? Could it be that He is ready and willing to lend strength and grow our character and capacity through our journeys? I believe so. Our God is faithful to lead us, support us, and fight for us. He is greater, much greater, than the worst fears we can imagine. We can start pursuing the God-sized dreams, face our fears with Him, and discover the depth of His grace and companionship as we do.