Some of us don’t chase after our dreams like an Olympic runner who hears the starting gun at the summer games. For some of us, we are forced to pursue new dreams when what we wanted never came, was taken, or lost.
When Mr. Right didn’t show up at our door, when the divorce was final, when we lost the baby, when the diagnosis was grim, when the business went under— each and every time we came face-to-face with disappointment. After the disappointment hits, despair moves in. We found that life would never be the same. Our expectations of the future would no longer be what they once were. We’re left with another tombstone in the graveyard of broken dreams, and it’s never easy to see our dreams die.
The dark side of our dreams, the losses and defeats, cause us to question if we are worthy of dreaming in the first place. They make us wonder if God has forgotten us or if we have what it takes to see the impossible become possible. Dead dreams aren’t always the result of that which we can control. Sometimes, life happens in a way that hurts. In a way we could never predict. In a way that leaves us farther away from what we desire most in this life.
I’m cut from the cloth that is consistently shocked when things don’t turn out exactly as I planned them in my head. I think to myself that life is great, I’m capable, and surely everything will be perfect because the horn of unicorns pierce the sky, and with enough coffee and creativity, I will conquer all.
Until I don’t.
Once everything goes to crud, I’m back to square one, wishing and hoping, dreaming and scheming. Call me an optimist if you must. I believe in my dreams, but it’s not so fun to start over, to dream again, after you’ve taken two to the chest.
Yet, glimpses of hope are found in what happens after our dreams take their last breath. The moment we move from disappointment and despair to desperation, we find out just how little control we have in this life. In desperation, we call out to God with fists held high, asking where he is. We demand answers, he offers his presence. We wonder if our dreams will ever come true, he reminds us that he is for us. He sees us. We are not forgotten.
Our broken hearts, ones that are tender and bruised, are not unseen by God. He is gracious and kind in His ways toward us—able to redeem our dreams when we thought all hope was lost. He can do the impossible and repair our broken hearts as we lean into Him. He is acquainted with our grief and near to the brokenhearted. In the moments when our world falls apart, He sustains us through unthinkable experiences. Nothing is too much or too broken for the way of the Father.
In loss and defeat, we become intimately familiar with suffering. Suffering is a marker of humanity and no one is an exception to the rule. No one gets a free pass. If we have a pulse, there is a solid chance we will endure suffering, grief, and loss on the road to our dreams. The scriptures remind us that suffering is inevitable. We’ll experience trials and sorrows, but we can take heart because our faithful Savior has overcome the world. (John 16:33)
Through our suffering and losses, we can discover that God is able and willing to redeem the broken dreams and give us fresh dreams for the future. What was may no longer be, but what will be is majestic, full of hope. For that we can dream again. For that we can accept how our losses and defeats have left us. Tender. Stronger. Vulnerable. With clarified values and a soft heart.
Who we decide to be and what we decide to believe in the wake of broken dreams can determine our steps to see them made whole again. If we believe God has failed us, we’ll act like it. If we believe God is for us, we’ll act like it. The truth is that we can rely on God after the fallout of our dreams. Other people and circumstances are hardly in our control. We can’t force someone to say or do something when they aren’t willing. We can’t manipulate a situation in such a way that benefits us each and every day of our existence. We can’t rewind the order of events to prevent the fallout, the breakdown, or the horrible loss. We just plain can’t control the world.
In the waiting that follows broken dreams, it will serve us well to keep our eyes and hearts focused on becoming women of resolve who trust the Lord. We may be tempted to settle for anything that feels comfortable or gives us a sense of security or hope, but as the Lord works in us, we can trust Him. We can trust Him with every inch of our lives and dreams. We can offer Him pliable hearts that He can redeem, avoiding the quick fix that is often too good to be true. Temporary fixes or comforts may just push us two steps backward from what we really desire. In our effort to self-soothe we settle, and it feels like winning. It’s not.
Our trust in God and commitment to His plans, even when they feel impossible and beyond reach, stretches us to be women of hope and vision. Our dreams may have been broken, but our hearts are still beating. It’s not over. As we wait well on God, we may just find that we become stronger than we thought we could be, braver than we were before, and available to witness miracles at the hand of our faithful God.
As you chase your dreams, you are bound to experience disappointment, despair, and desperation, but remember how the story is intended to end. In resurrection. That’s the life you were created for. One of new mercies. Fresh beginnings. With a resurrected King who resurrects your dreams. He did it for the saints of old and he’ll do it for you.
This post was inspired by my latest book and study, She Dreams: Live the Life You Were Created For. Available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Cokesbury, and other retailers.
